I always look forward to this annual campaign, as it gives us another opportunity to play our part in reducing the prevalence of bullying in schools and help those who have become victims.
For many years I have seen in my professional life how damaging the bullying of children can be. It can have life-long effects. It is essential that we continue to highlight this unacceptable conduct and strive to eradicate bullying in our schools.
The Anti-Bullying Alliance has highlighted that almost one in four children experience bullying, meaning that in a typical primary classroom, several children may be affected.
The Alliance encourages young pupils to talk to a trusted adult and reinforces a simple but powerful message that bullying can be tackled when it is brought into the open. With my experience, I agree: the bullies can be stopped if we speak up.
For parents, the “Break the Silence” campaign is a reminder that when a child says they are being bullied, or when their behaviour suggests something is wrong, early, calm and informed action can bring about change. It also matters that schools respond properly. Bullying is not a “part of growing up”. Left unaddressed, it can affect a child’s wellbeing, confidence, attendance, learning and sense of safety.
What is bullying?
Once upon a time, bullying was either physical abuse or name calling. In recent times, other forms have been recognised. It may now be physical, verbal, emotional, social or online. It can include hitting, pushing, name-calling, threats, exclusion, spreading rumours, humiliation, intimidation or undermining behaviour. Bullying is intentional behaviour that hurts someone else, often repeated over time, and capable of causing both physical and emotional harm.
My experience of acting for parents of children who have suffered from bullying in schools, is that the bullying can take place in a range of circumstances. These include:
- in classrooms, corridors, playgrounds or changing rooms;
- on the journey to or from school;
- at clubs, sports fixtures or school trips;
- through messaging apps, gaming platforms and social media;
- by exclusion from friendship groups;
- through harassment linked to race, disability, sex, religion or belief, sexual orientation, gender reassignment or other characteristics.
Online bullying can be particularly difficult for families because it may follow a child home from school. Cyberbullying can happen on social networks, gaming platforms and mobile phones, and a child may be bullied both online and offline at the same time.
If a child is repeatedly targeted, frightened, humiliated, excluded or harmed, their concerns should not be dismissed by labels such as “banter”, “falling out” or “friendship issues” without further enquiry. It is important that parents and others intervene, stop the bullying and protect your daughter or son.
Why silence protects bullying
The Anti-Bullying Alliance’s 2026 theme recognises that bullying often survives because people do not speak about it. Indeed, that is my experience. My professional background as a specialist education solicitor is that children stay silent because they are embarrassed, frightened of retaliation, worried they will not be believed or concerned that adult involvement will make things worse. It is therefore incumbent on us as adults to act immediately when we witness or become aware of what appears to be bullying, putting the child’s welfare above other considerations.
Younger children may not have the language to explain what is happening. Older children may fear losing control of the situation. Some children only disclose after weeks or months of distress. Others do not disclose at all but show changes in their behaviour and personality. We must be alive to how children may behave differently as a response to bullying.
Parents may notice:
- reluctance to attend school;
- unexplained stomach aches, headaches or anxiety;
- changes in sleep or appetite;
- missing belongings or damaged uniform;
- withdrawal from friends or activities;
- changes in online behaviour;
- anger, tearfulness or low mood after school;
- falling attainment;
- increased absence;
- self-blame or comments such as “everyone hates me”.
These signs do not prove bullying, but demand a response from parents and, where necessary, prompt contact with the school about their safeguarding.
The first response to a disclosure of bullying is important. Children need to hear that they have done the right thing by speaking up, that bullying is not their fault and that adults will help. Parents should choose the right time, listen, reassure the child, remain calm and help them.
Bullying is a school safeguarding issue
Schools are expected to prevent and respond to bullying as part of their wider behaviour and safeguarding framework. The prevention of bullying in schools applies to school leaders, staff and governing bodies, and is intended to help schools prevent and respond to bullying.
Bullying can be part of a wider safeguarding picture. I have seen, from my work with parents and their children, that persistent bullying can be linked to child-on-child abuse, discrimination, online harm, mental health concerns, absence from education, exploitation or other risks. Therefore, when it comes to a school response, the school should not look at bullying in isolation where there are indicators that a child is unsafe or at risk of significant harm.
What should parents expect from a school?
Parents should expect more than sympathy from their child’s school. A school response should be clear, prompt, practical, proportionate and recorded.
In practical terms, parents can ask the school to:
- advise who is responsible for investigating the bullying concern;
- tell parents which school policies apply, including the behaviour, anti-bullying, safeguarding and online safety policies;
- take an account from the child, in an age-appropriate way, and record what they have said, retaining the contemporaneous record for future use;
- speak to staff and other pupils;
- consider whether immediate protective steps are needed;
- address online evidence where relevant;
- assess whether there is a safeguarding concern;
- consider whether the bullying is linked to a protected characteristic;
- agree a support plan for the child;
- keep parents updated;
- review whether the steps taken have worked.
Schools should be careful about placing the burden on the child who has reported bullying. In some cases, moving your son or daughter away from certain lessons, friendship groups or school spaces may be necessary as a short-term protective step, but it should not feel like the child is being punished for speaking up.
A good response will usually involve both protection and education: protecting the child who has been harmed, addressing the behaviour of those responsible and making clear that bullying is unacceptable. Where appropriate, restorative steps may help, but they should not be used as a substitute for safeguarding action or imposed on a child who feels unsafe.
The particular challenge of cyberbullying
Cyberbullying can be misunderstood as something that happens outside school. Whether in or out of school, cyberbullying may directly affect a child’s school life, peer relationships and their ability to learn.
Parents should preserve evidence of cyberbullying where this is possible. My experience is that preserving evidence is important, for the purposes of communicating clearly with the school about what their daughter or son has experienced. This may include screenshots, usernames, dates, times, URLs, messages, images and details of witnesses. Parents should consider blocking or reporting online accounts, using social media platform reporting tools and asking the school what action it can take where the conduct involves pupils at the school.
Where online conduct includes threats, harassment, sexual images, hate crime, impersonation or coercion, parents should consider whether police involvement or specialist advice is required.
Safeguarding: when bullying becomes urgent
Some bullying concerns require immediate escalation. Parents should act quickly if:
- a child is afraid to attend school;
- there are threats of violence;
- there has been physical assault;
- the bullying is sexual, racist, homophobic, transphobic, disablist or otherwise discriminatory;
- online abuse is escalating;
- a child is self-harming or expressing suicidal thoughts;
- the school response is delayed or unclear;
- the child has SEND or other vulnerabilities;
- the bullying is affecting attendance, health or education;
- the family believes the child is not safe.
When legal advice may help
Legal advice does not mean parents are being confrontational. Legal advice from specialist education solicitors, who regularly support parents and their children, can make a real difference. They can help parents understand the school’s obligations, draft correspondence to express their concerns clearly, and identify the most effective route to resolution, with the child’s well-being at the core.
Parents may wish to seek advice where:
- the school has failed to investigate bullying properly;
- bullying incidents are not being recorded;
- the school is treating bullying as ordinary friendship conflict without evidence;
- your daughter or son is being moved or restricted rather than protected;
- the bullying relates to disability, race, sex, religion or belief, sexual orientation, gender reassignment or another protected characteristic;
- the child has SEND and reasonable adjustments may be needed;
- absence is rising because the child feels unsafe;
- the school is threatening attendance action, possibly school suspension, despite unresolved bullying;
- the school’s complaints process has stalled;
- there is a potential safeguarding failure;
- the family is considering moving school;
- the child has suffered significant psychological or physical harm.
Legal advice can also assist where parents need support drafting correspondence, preparing for school meetings, submitting complaints, challenging decisions or considering potential claims. The appropriate complaint route will depend on the facts, the type of school and whether the issue involves safeguarding, discrimination, negligence, SEND, exclusions, admissions or attendance.
The most constructive legal interventions are often early and practical. They can help clarify what needs to happen next, preserve evidence and encourage a school to take a child-centred approach.
FAQs
Is bullying a safeguarding issue?
Not every playground dispute is a safeguarding concern, but repeated, targeted or harmful bullying may raise safeguarding issues, particularly where there is fear, significant distress, discrimination, online abuse, physical harm, sexualised behaviour or impact on attendance and mental health.
Should I contact the school if the bullying is online?
Yes, if the bullying involves pupils at the school or affects your child’s school life.
What if my child does not want me to tell the school about the bullying?
Take their concern seriously, but do not promise secrecy. Explain that the purpose of involving adults is to keep them safe and agree, where possible, how the issue will be raised.
What evidence should I keep?
Keep a timeline of events, screenshots, messages, photos of injuries or damaged property, medical notes, attendance records, emails to and from the school and notes of meetings or calls.
What if the school says bullying is “banter”?
Although it is unlikely a school will dismiss an allegation of bullying, it may be appropriate to ask the school to explain how it has assessed the behaviour described, whether it has spoken to witnesses, whether the conduct is repeated, and what steps it will take to prevent recurrence.
Can I complain if the school does not act?
If the school does not act upon your bullying concerns, I suggest you use the school’s complaints policy and escalate appropriately. The precise route for a complaint will depend on the type of school but the process should be clear from their policy. Legal advice may help identify the correct route and strengthen the complaint.
When should I seek legal advice?
Hopefully, you will be able to stop the bullying and support your child, working in partnership with the school. However, in those instances where you are not happy with the response, it is probably sensible to seek expert education advice from a specialist, particularly if the bullying is serious, persistent, discriminatory, affecting your child’s health, attendance or education, or if the school response is delayed, inadequate or unclear.
Breaking the silence starts with one conversation
The Anti-Bullying Alliance’s call to “Break the Silence” is a practical challenge to all of us. Children need to know that speaking up is brave and they need to know that adults are on their side. Parents need to know that they can ask direct questions. Schools need to know that listening, recording and acting are central to safeguarding and education.
Bullying thrives when it is minimised, hidden or treated as inevitable. Bullies rely on and thrive on secrecy. They lose their power when adults listen to children, take their concerns seriously, when schools respond with clarity and when families know their rights.
If you are concerned that your child is being bullied, do not wait for the situation to resolve itself. Speak to your daughter or son, gather the facts, contact the school and ask for a clear plan. If the response is not adequate, or if you are unsure what to do next, consider seeking legal advice at an early stage.
No child should have to suffer in silence. Be sure to #BreakTheSilence and on the first day of the campaign, be sure to wear odd socks, along with your child, to celebrate that we are all unique.
